Exception Handling…

I know the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started.

How many exceptions are to be handled here in this life…
What ever you try is thrown as an exception thrown at you to be caught and handled…


try{
Push Onsite
}catch{
No country for old men
}
try{
Career Options
}catch{
Hard Luck
}
try{
Work Excellence
}catch{
No place for Emotions
}
try{
Appreciations
}catch{
Fall short of the Mark
}
try{
Certifications
}catch{
Better Luck Next time
}
try{
Appraisals
}catch{
Relatively ranked into 2nd Class
}
try{
Try Socializing
}catch{
Fake Empathies
}
try{
Manage Mentees
}catch{
Be ready CounterStrike
}
try{
Aspirations
}catch{
Expectations too high
}
try{
Friends
}catch{
Not Reachable
}
try{
Family Values
}catch{
Disturbed Mental Peace
}
try{
Fishing Soul mate
}catch{
1 Connection leads to another
}

The pain is unrelenting; one does not abandon, even briefly, one's bed of nails, but is attached to it wherever one goes.
And I look again towards the sky as the raindrops mix with the tears I cry.

Teach me to pray for joy, for pity's sake -
I've suffered so much that I cannot bear
To think of future grief - give me some prayer
To murmur every day.

PS : Oh, sweet sorrow, the time you borrow, will you be here when i wake up tomorrow?

While You Were Sleeping....Disha

I looked out to sea. I always found the sea so calming, and even as a child I would run across the road to the beach if I was upset and needed to think.
My parents knew that when I went missing from the house, they would find me here by the sea.

I closed my eyes and breathed in & out along the gentle sighing of the waves. It was as though the sea was taking big deep breath; pulling the water in while it inhaled & pushing it all backup onto the sand as it exhaled. I continued to breathe along with it & felt my pulse rate slow down as I became calmer.
I felt squashed between the shoulders of my past & my lost future, and I felt suffocated. I shouldn’t have to be there, none of my friends, none of my family or infact majority of the population of the world didn’t have to be there in the position I was right in. It doesn’t seem fair.
We both met here on this beach, from where we set our journey of love. I found solace in solitude watching the waves until I had the first look of her.

I picked the orchids near-by & walked towards her.
‘Excuse me, do you have band-aid because I scrapped my knee when I fell you for you’
I proposed having no clue of the tides ahead.
She turned & looked at me as she played with a gang of kids she had come with.
‘So you believe in love at first sight, right? Or should I walk by again?’ She chuckled. She looked gorgeous doing it.
She was my best friend, mother, and care-taker. I was her world.
Hmm.. My life jeopardized when I lost her. My journey of life seemed to lost track.
She was a victim of mob-fury while she was traveling to her NGO which served the downtrodden, blind & homeless children, in a bus as stones were pelted & set ablaze. She was charred alive while helping an old lady out. She was moved to the hospital where she fought for life. She braved it for 3 days.
I saw every moment of her struggle. I was beside her. I couldn’t stand the pain she was going through for no fault of hers.
She saw my eyes filled with tears for the 1st time in these 2 years since our marriage.
It was difficult to both of us going through this.
‘I miss you & I love you, Pranav’ She murmured.
I held her hand & said ‘I Love you tooo…Disha’ and kissed her forehead as she breathed her last after those words.

I set to sail on a journey of love..
I thought I would reach my destiny of desire..
I realized when the thought of losing her..
That I was on a paper-boat as I drowned…

I could hide the pain I felt & make others believe that I can move on. But I couldn’t deny the truth that one who has left me is the still the one I miss…

I wanted to complete her unfulfilled missions, so I decided & quit as a Software Engineer, what is the use of coming up with something which is far from reach of the economically challenged class of society.
I took over her NGOs task. I felt that I worked with her & lived with her. The smile which I got back from those whom I worked for was a reward, I cherished.
Days went by when I felt so happy & content, & confident that my life would be OK, & then as quickly as the feeling came it would disappear and I would feel the sadness setting again. I wandered around like a zombie, watching everybody else live theirs, while I waited mine to end…

Sookhi mitti mein dafan hai kuch yaadein,
Kaun sunega, kis se kare fariyaadein…

What is the point in living when there is no LIFE in it…
- Pranav


PS: Life we lead depends on options we get and the choices we make..
PPS: Oh, sweet sorrow, the time you borrow, will you be here when i wake up tomorrow?
PPPS: Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great
enough to die for.

Good-bye, Farewell & Amen..Sunshine Girl

Totttttallly my pleasure, I must say...
Ohhh my Gaaaaawd!!! I am humbled & thrilled...
Phew!!! Touching one...
Gooooooooooood Morning Baaaaaangalore...

I think most of you must be missing these lines just as the way I am missing right now.

The ‘sunshine girl’ who brightened Bangalore City has now dusked into history. We wouldn’t get to listen to her voice anymore. Saturday she decided to move-on who was unanimous queen of hearts since 4 years now for millions of radio-fans like me. From a mere listener to ardent listener of radio, I transformed with her shows.

When Vasanti’s Box was opened, along with all the evils & vices came something that would turn out to be the elixir of life – Hope. It’s the drug that all of us live on, and it’s the only ray of light that gives you belief in the dark. That’s the caliber RJ Vasanti had.

She marauded her listeners & changed the traditional RJ perceived. She was ready for her own onslaught.

We take time to open up to people but there are some people whom I connect instantly. It surprises me how I get into long conversations with people we barely know. Vasanti was one whom I could connect to as well.

It is ironical that while she was the breakfast and travel companion for lakhs of Bangaloreans she rarely shared the breakfast tables with her own family even on holidays – for these are occasions for special shows on air. Well, such is life…


Professionally, her big moment was when she was chosen to represent India at the “Global Young Leaders Seminar” in Salzburg. Trivialities such as the color of your skin just did not figure as they plunged themselves into scenario- building - on how the world should look in the year 2030. She spoke on “Radio for Social Change”.

She did her bit to create an awareness, rope in organizations to this big cause thereby bringing people ready to help and the needy together. A concerted plan is slowly emerging from her efforts in building ‘a sunshine’ community for Bangalore. For this she truly deserves the title, ’Bangalore’s sunshine Girl’

She vows that she will never delete that mail by Mr. N. R. Narayanmurthy, “I listen to Vasanthi’s shows whenever I can. I notice that she has a genuine desire to make a difference to the world around her. She has the power to mould the opinion of over 2 million listeners through her radio show.” was at once wonderfully motivating and humbling for her.



When Radio or even disc Jockeying is full of negatively funny ’evil’ pranksters who love to rip you apart, here was a person with whom you will ‘connect’ endlessly without squirming in your seat. Little wonder that she was chosen for the Radio Excellence Award for the India's Best English RJ.

Vasanthi Hariprakash must surely be the fizziest thing amongst all those that dot the FM horizon with their light-hearted banter. Her energetic waking up of the city with a beautiful thought here, a concerned enquiry there, a sympathetic tch! tch! sprinkled at the right moments ringing laughter in us. Speaking your hearts language she truly did. She spoke 6 languages including Hindi, Kannada, Gujrati, Tamil, English etc. ….!! Vasanthi’s intensity and depth as a person, her genuine desire to heal and make a difference was apparent. She has deeply lived those moments and feels good that she can keep that faith for that is the beginning of change to other people.

Her shows – Breakfast with the brats for kids, Friday Flashback for hindi retro, her fitness tips, her investment suggestions, party at 6-40, by-2-coffee, babbar sher & lingo-leela for vocabulary enhancements. Bangalore Talkies, Idly vada funda, Music-e-azam, her interviews diverse with people spanning to NRN, bolly celebs, journos, her London travel-tales..list seems endless, every bit of it would be missed for a long time to come. The scaled success of hers would be unachieved by other RJs for a long time to come.

Her choice of songs which unwound me is truly commendable.

I owe all my gratitude & thanks to her for being such an influencing factor all these days.
I infact have few memories with her to cherish, I had spoken to her on-air & met her couple of times in Radio-city studio & inside Infy campus as well.

Now she has moved-on, I wish her the best of Life’s Journey & a bright future ahead.
Wish to see her back soon… as she told even she missed Radio badly when she moved out…

Sayonara Vasanti, Kabhi Alvida na kehana..

PS: For people who don’t know, Vasanti was the most celebrated RJ of Radio-City 91.1 Bangalore.
PPS: She can now be reached through www.vasanthihariprakash.com
PPPS: I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

Two evenings & dinner to remember, embed into my memories.

“For the millions of us who live glued to computer keyboards at work and TV monitors at home, food may be more than entertainment. It may be the only sensual experience left.”

I had an ecstatic reason to be happy over the last weekend, infact not 1 but two. 2 of my friends had planned for the dinner, which they owed me as their Birthday Treats.

On Friday evening, me & my friend set out to dine, with me no clue of what kind of food I wanted to have. I am very morose in what I choose to eat. But one thing I had in mind is, at the end of day my fren has to feel good for having delicious food as he had been here in South for the 1st time.

Tried to catch up with some friends for a nice place to hang-out, but didn’t get the timely suggestions.

So I took him out to a place which I had been before, Banjara (Near Race Course, Blr), a great place for all food-type fare. The concierge directed us to the candle-lit tables which he felt was murky. So we took our tables inside. The ambience was brilliant as I am a complex human who don’t like teeming/strident places. Decent music & yummy food of our choice made the evening memorable. We had lung-fung soup, lip-smacking latcha paratha etc, blame it on my memory. Soup and fish explain half the emotions of human life.

My friend also liked it to my surprise, hope I made his day.

"Food here responds to our soul’s dream as to our stomach's appetite.” Overall a decent place to enjoy a delectable food of your choice.

Suggest you people to try that out as well

I had the following evening, to acknowledge another friend’s invitation to join him for his treat.


But this time, was not indecisive as I was the previous day. I was clear about having Chinese food for the day. So we dropped in at Chungs’ (Malleshwaram, Blr), clean place, but too crowded, but still could hold on to my nerves for a decent meal. I eat merely to put food out of my mind.


We had Tom-Yom Soup, Dragon Rolls with Garlic sauce, Chicken-pops, Schezwan rice & chowmein. Totally I was taken back with the quality & taste of the food that was served, in spite of me having other reasons to brood on with the place & people around, which would make up a topic of another blog; will bring it out sometime. Again a place I would suggest you people to try out.


"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There's no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward."

All I wanted to say is had two decent evenings which would be cherished for sometime to come.


PS: All happiness depends on a leisurely supper.
PPS: I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
PPPS: “When I get a little money, I buy books. And if there is any left over, I buy food."

U, Me aur Hamari Dosti..

The concept of this blog conceived after I was made to realize my shortcoming through a SMS conversation with my Friend.

U : don’t know y grass on other side always looks greener.
Me : it happens, don’t worry, its all how you see.
U : uncertainties of the future has put me down
Me : we would b gods if we are clear of the future, if u get to know it now, there is nothing left in life infact. Don’t worry
U : sometimes certain things are better left to fate.
Me : I don’t want u 2 blame it on fate, 4 things you can do. Now come on cheer-up. Every tunnel has an illuminated path at the end of it. I’m sorry if my words don’t help you feel better.
U : kuch baatein..no one can understand..
Me : there is nothing which cant be understood, it is you who don’t want to make me understand & ruining ur peace of mind.
U : Tum nahi samjhoge, my confusions abt my career, my life & all that. Ye sab chalta rahega, chalo so jaao GN
Me : I dono how good u feel makin such statements, bad. U don’t want things to be st8 even when the other person is ready to lend his heart out to make u feel better. GN

As someone said, Life is indeed beautiful coz of some people; I did not want that special person of my life to be in such bad situation. This kept me pondering of my existence for a long time before I fell asleep.
How do I make him feel better, am I so bad that he says that I don’t understand what he is going through.
I wanted to say him this -

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you and together we will search for answers.
But why did he refrain from sharing? That’s what friends are for..
It doesn't really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist's chair or let your hands lie in your lap. The drill drills on.
I can't change your past with all its heartache and pain, or the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care.
But why did you stop me from caring? What are friends for..
I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
But why did you stop from holding on to me? What are friends for..
I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you, and wait for you.
I understand you are going through a bad patch, but I want to say that it doesn’t make me feel good either when you are in such worse phase.
I hate seeing is any of my friends being so vulnerable.
Its even more hard for me when its you.
I am scared that he is finding solace in misery by not sharing things with me for solutions…
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.
Speak out, share things. That’s how you feel better.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, but I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.
I don’t expect u 2 change; you can be at your natural best. I have accepted u as a friend as you are & never fear that you brooding on things would change my opinion for you. All I expected is you to share & feel better.
And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live
Finally,
I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.

PS : Life is not easy & it will never be, but you’ve got friends & one of them is me..
PPS : Apologies if you find it too senti as you always say.. (am not senti-baaz)
PPPS : Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends. To be an adult is to be alone

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE...

Borrowing from an American philosopher who said, ‘ A politician thinks of next election – A statesman of next generation’. May I say Ayaan and Driti thought of mere reasons to pick-up a fight next day? Not a single day at college of theirs passed without their fight. Such was the vibes they had.

Ayaan, the stunning, mind-boggling guy. Driti, beautiful, coy & unassuming, she has an infectious smile.
It was the last day of college; they were at the farewell function, Yaadein. But today was different; they both abstained in any war-of-words. A silence had leapt over them without their knowledge. They kept themselves to their groups.

Both looked at each other at once, their eyes spoke it all. Neither of them could conclude of what the feeling was that they went through.

Both spent a sleepless night, gazing at the sky thinking of what their eyes spoke.

Ayaan & Driti were supposed to leave to their hometowns the next day. Driti’s train was at 9-30 AM. They both packed their bags with the confusion still running back of their minds. Driti concluded what it was after a debate among her friends. She typed a SMS to Ayaan before she left the hostel, which read,

“I find myself extremely confident in very strange situations. Sometimes I am not sure of myself. Infact, most of the times I am not sure of myself & those times I feel so weak.
Mere dard ki koi dava na karo, mujhko mujhse yu juda na karo.”

This SMS rang the bell in Ayaan’s mind which clearly could relate to what he was going through. Her smile captivated his mind as he read the SMS. He cringed. He woke up & changed his attire to a white t-shirt & blue denim, wanting to meet Driti & confess before she left.

It was the town located among the lush green hillock. It was foggy morning, with the sun hiding behind the clouds & could hear the birds chirp. It was a small clean station. Driti reached the station with her friends with a heavy heart expecting a change for a lifetime, with all prayers in mind. The train arrived at the platform. Driti is searching around, but with no symptoms of Ayaan’s presence around.

Ayaan made it to the flower-shop to get some orchids for her & left to the station. He drove through the misty roads.
Driti’s heart was pounding with anticipation. But Ayaan was not seen at all.

The station-master blew his whistle indicating the departure time. She boarded the train & sat beside the window still not letting her hopes down.

The train siren honked & started moving, chik-buk.

Ayaan rushed into the station sensing that he was running out of time, as the train had just started to gain momentum. The bogie she was in just crossed by him & she saw him through the window. He stood there helpless in distress. All he could do is see the train whistling into the tunnel of the fog-clad hillocks. His voice shriveled & fell on his knees with flowers in his hand.

"Milna Ittefaq, Bichadna tha nasib; Wo door ho gaye jo the dil ke kareeb“

He typed –
“Kashti behati hain kinare ki talaash mein,Log bichadte hin milne ki aas mein.
Wonderful ppl r hard 2 find, u seem 2 b 1 of them..”& sent it across to her.
She had silent tears rolling down her cheek. He sat there at the station waiting….


PS : Loosely Inspired by a real experience.
PPS : Apologies if its a long read.
PPPS : Awakening the dead-cells of mine for some creativity

The helluva week of my life

The most sorrowful week of mine just passed...
Last week was just meant to lose for me..

* People (SPM/PM/PA) who were running around full of garbage ( full of frustration, full of anger & full of disappointment) piled up & needed a place to dump it.. I was the one these people chose to dump on.
What should I do, shouldn't I take it personally. Is that I need to just smile , wave wish them well & move on.

* Second thing, I lost my spectacles in the meeting room on thursday..
should I again blame my carelessness for not remembering it before I left the room.

* Third blunder of week- one of my team-mate wanted a Nokia series charger on thursday & she borrowed mine as I carry it along everyday. On friday when I ask her to return it back, I was taken back by her response... Sorry, I left it at my desk over-nite & now I am not able to find it anywhere.. Gaaaaawsh!! is it my mistake to lend things in courtesy. My phone is off since 2 days now as I was in no mood to buy a new charger, neither I had patience to get one.
How do I move on? I decided not to entertain any services anymore.. Am I wrong?

* The fourth one - I was returning back from guitar classes in the eveningby bus, as my cousin wanted my bike for some urgent work. So I commuted using the BMTC bus to my classes, I remember taking the ticket from the conductor of the bus & placing my wallet back into the bag. Thats it, I later realised the wallet had been stolen. Now my PAN Card, 2 wheeler + 4 wheeler License, My Credit + Debit cards, & lots of shopping cards from Shoppers Stop, West-side, Pantaloons have been lost. With that I lost the minting points as well I guess.. I blocked my debit & credit cards, but I have to approach the police for my lost PAN & DL Cards, I dont know but I am horrified by the name POLICE...
Why did the thief choose only me to get his earnings for the day.. why me?

* Top of all these, the important thing I lost was my PEACE OF MIND following all these incidents

PS: Off-late I find it difficult to recollect things.. is it short-term memory loss
PPS: Haven't told papa that I have lost my wallet or else will have a nice round of scoldings & he will never trust me.. will have to bear those repeating words of caution everytime I step out of my house... which would be boring.. so havent told him :(
PPPS: What do I do? Believe that everything happens for a reasons aaargh!! too much
PPPPS: Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.. but I have a reason to enchant for which I looking forward this week :) (secret)