The Rising.. for..

We might face many difficulties, hardships and disappointments in our lives. Things do not always go our way. If we listen to the discussions of others and review our own words and thoughts, we find that many of them are complaints about how life is treating us. There is a bitter feeling.
Most of us have love for a small circle of people which includes our family and close friends. However, as we grow, our heart must expand to embrace society, country, world and beyond. The ultimate state of love is having love for the cosmos.
With my experience with UncleSam, for people here -
Water is thicker than blood; while for most of us in my homeland it is always blood which is thicker than water.
Water accounts to the social circle called friends and love for the nation and more subjective to being selfless. The blood accounts as me, my family and world around it.
I would like to quote an incident I read somewhere - During the Great Depression in America, a government representative travelled through some of the poorer parts of the country to provide financial assistance to farmers to buy seeds, fix their homes and run their farms. The agent came across an elderly woman living in a shack without flooring. She had covered the broken windows with tarpaper. She barely managed to survive. The agent asked: “If the government gave you 200$, what would you do with it?” The woman replied without hesitation: “I would give it to someone who is homeless.”
A different perspective would reveal to us how fortunate we are. I always wonder why people back home are centered on building villas and shutting down opportunity for helping others in need. What makes people take such rigid decisions to run a rat race of pride? Is luxury all in life? A nation which stood for values and ethics today has a very little to offer.
If we could accept the cloudy days with the same gratitude as we do the sunny days, we would find our lives to be filled with more love, peace and happiness. If we could appreciate the weeds as well as the roses, we would get enriched. Not only do we need to learn to be content, we need to expand our heart to embrace all creation.
No matter what happens to us in life, we have a fountain of nectar within us from which we can drink at any time. This is the gift we can achieve through our determination. These thoughts are something which keep me engaged of what I can do and how I could be of some help. Though it’s just a drop in the huge world around, I wouldn’t stop myself from expressing that I am awakened and would live for a meaningful life rather than just a self-centered life. With a ray of hope…

Shades of Loneliness....

I've usually been dumbfounded when people bring up negative questions, whether through innocence or malicious posing of mere questions. I seldom can figure out how to respond that doesn't get caught up in all the negative and endless talk, talk of pointing fingers, blame, looking backward to the past (and not to a better future) and all the rest.
Same applies when there is a conflict within myself. There are 2 voices within which keep the fight alive, a darker shade & a brighter shade of my soul, you can call.
Something similar happened this morning while traveling the long way to office in the bus. My friend who escorts me daily today missed the bus & I had to cover the whole “safar” alone is what made me little sad. I pulled out the book “A Thousand Splendid Suns” (currently reading) & turned to the page with the bookmark. I was done with only few pages, and felt dozing…. So closed it & rested against the seat.I did not fall asleep right away, somewhere I was conscious enough to feel that the other 2 places on the 3-seater I was sitting in was unoccupied. I could sense the emptiness captivating my mind. Then there were a series of thoughts which flashed.
/* Flashback begins ….
I had a peculiar habit of watching people who were asleep in the bus(trust me, its fun to see this & how people are funny), when I initially joined Infy & was not used to doze in the bus (I have now adapted to doze off, to sustain the long distance & cover up the sleep hours). ends…*/
A thought came over which started the dilemma in me.. What if a person who comes & sits beside me who does same thing with me.& now a dark sense captured me with some inferiority… As I am hare-lipped (Just like Hasan in KiteRunner), will I be funnier to watch. What if I am the fun-bone of the day? How do I look when asleep, does my mouth open & look funny? This question haunted me which did not let me fall asleep for a while.
Yes, I must say, I have passed all those phases of life when passer-by gives a strange look. When guys down-street did not let me to join their game.
I have gulped all those comments passed at me by crooks across the street.
I have overcome that fear of mingling with the crowd. (Thanks to those many who made me feel comfortable – my frens in college, Infy)
I always used to feel lost until I found someone who came up amicably to me & gave nice gestures on the first day at office.
But why did this thought come today in the bus, why was there a fight between my inner voices… One said why do you have to worry. While the other voice always pulled me down… into gloom of me not being gifted looks like others are by god.
Anyways, I don’t remember when I slept while the fight of inner voices was on…
Finally, I decided, perhaps there is no need to respond to negative and instead to refocus on dreams and ideas for the better, nothing less. If people want to state their dreams and idea for better, then there may be some thing that can be responded to. Until then, there are so many other positive and useful things to do. Though I pass the phase of life & cover the journey of life, some days go like this, just as I described above. All I have learnt in my experience of life with my weakness is:
I live by 3 things
1. Smile at your problems
2. Learn from experience
3. Help your self

My words :
The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what to hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope..

P.S: Whether I like it or not…all these seem to be just a faction of my deranged mind